Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Quote of the week


“Recent history is filled with instances of family companies that failed to make it to the next generation because family members couldn’t resolve their differences and communicate successfully with one another. In a 1995 survey of 800 heirs of failed family businesses, conflict with family members in and out of the business and with non-family employees was viewed as a major cause of business failure."

--Joseph H. Astrachan, Ph.D. and Kristi S. McMillan, Conflict and Communication in the Family Business, 2003

Monday, November 23, 2009

Limiting groupthink

By Mary Beth Matteo, Founding Director of the S. Dale High Center for Family Business

Whether you’re running a business meeting or a family meeting, if you want genuine by-in, it’s important to understand the concept of “false consensus.”

False consensus happens in one of two ways. Top down: a leader may presume that silence means consensus, for example, the way political leaders sometimes assume they have the support of the masses. Bottom up: members of a group may feel such intense pressure to agree that they simply cave on an important issue (and usually exhibit negative behavior later.) An example would be the study of “groupthink” in sequestered jurors.

How to avoid it? Awareness is the first step. In conducting family meetings on important issues several steps are key:

• Appoint a leader for the meeting (a person who has the respect of the group).

• Appoint a note-taker to write minutes.

• Set a clear time limit.

• Set an agenda in advance and ask participants to contribute to it.

• Provide a place for all members to participate in the discussion (if needs be, call on them).

• When discussing a “loaded” issue, ask members to use “I” to express opinions and understanding; avoid the use of “you”, as in “you always do this.”

• Summarize the results of the meeting and set an agenda for the next, with input from the group.

Sum & substance: While you want healthy working relationships and productivity in a team environment, you don't want to facilitate groupthink, which can lead to shallow decision-making, excessive optimism, and stereotyping. Rather, invest in a strong group relationship that accommodates diverse viewpoints.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

One, two, three . . .


by Mary Beth Matteo, Founding Director of the S. Dale High Center

Birth order has been a topic of debate for many years. As the Center discusses relationships, it’s worth a second look. Does your birth position in the family affect your leadership style? Does birth order affect your family’s perception of you as a leader? Does it color their business decisions?

With customers and clients, should your communication vary depending on whether you’re dealing with a first born, middle child or last born? There are many exceptions to the birth order categories (for instance, single children should also be included) but the three main types can be summarized as follows:

Birth order helps to create distinctive “habits of mind,” or ways of interpreting the world. Depending on the position in the family, a person may feel “on the top of the pile” (first born), squeezed in the middle and negotiating a position (middle), or ignored and having to carve out a place in the limelight (last born.) Below we have listed some of the characteristics of first, middle and last born, as well as famous examples:

First born -- leader; take charge kind of person
Winston Churchill
Hilary Clinton
Rush Limbaugh

Middle -- mediator; secretive
Donald Trump
JFK
Bill Gates

Last born -- the Charmer; likes limelight
Ronald Reagan
Ross Perot
Whoopie Goldberg

So, which is it? Hype or fact? Birth order theories are a bit of both, perhaps.

Sum and Substance: This is definitely information you should have in your arsenal! For an interesting read on the subject, try The New Birth Order Book, by Dr. Kevin Leman. It includes an interesting chapter on “How to Let Your Birth Order Work for You in Business.” For those who want a skeptical assessment, check out this NY Times article on birth order.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Steve Treat Seminar Really a Treat

Senior therapist, CEO, and ordained minister Steve Treat was the featured presenter on Thursday, November 12. According to the evaluations of those attending, Treat's presentation on participatory leadership was our highest rated seminar to date.

Scott Heintzelman, a Partner with McKonly & Asbury, one of the S. Dale High Center's Corporate Partners, reviewed the session on his blog "The Exuberant Accountant." Click here for Scott's post on the Treat Seminar.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Quote of the week

“More than ever before, people expect to find their worth affirmed at work. Twenty years ago, not even 5 percent of our population expected to develop their potential and find satisfaction through work. Today, 40 percent of employees believe they have a fundamental right to self-fulfillment, to develop and use their intellectual and creative abilities to the fullest. They believe they are worth as much to the company as their managers. They want to perform meaningful work that brings value to the world, and they have the latent power to insist on being treated as worthy.”

--Kate Ludeman, The Worth Ethic

Friday, November 13, 2009

Relationship building: Giving feedback

by Mike McGrann, Executive Director of the S. Dale High Center for Family Business

One of the keys to any effective working relationship is the ability to give feedback in ways that individuals can "hear" it--and the ability to receive feedback without becoming defensive. Some rules of the road when giving feedback include:
  1. Be succinct. Provide specific feedback about a behavior or actions that you would like to see changed or improved. Focus on "actionable items" that an individual can actually change vs. personality traits. For example, if you tell someone he or she lacks charisma, there is not much they can do to become more charismatic. However, if you tell someone that you would like to see more energy and a greater sense of urgency, they can deliberately work to portray more energy and urgency in the workplace.
  2. Be brief. Hearing honest feedback is tough enough without feeling like you are getting a lecture. If you really want someone to hear your feedback, you need to keep it short and specific. The longer you talk, the less likely the other is to hear.
  3. Be congruent. Speak from the heart with your feelings and beliefs about what you need or wish to see happen. Begin with "I" statements such as "I feel," "I believe," "I would like" that indicate your sentiments. Avoid statements that begin with the words "you always" or "you never" as they force the receiver to defend themselves. If you want the other person to hear your opinion, share it in an honest way . . . your true feelings. Leave the attack, aggression, and other distractions at the door.
  4. Be empathetic: Remember that the recipient's ability to hear your message depends in large part how you deliver it. Do so with empathy and care--remembering that it is always hard to hear tough feedback.
Mike's bottom line:  The mark of a good leader is a willingess to give feedback that is succinct, brief, and congruent, and delivered with empathy for the subordinate.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Book Pic: Flight of the Buffalo


Flight of the Buffalo, by James Belasco and Ralph C. Stayer, is a great read for anyone who wants to think about employees and leadership in a different way. The authors describe how to change the old paradigm, the “lead buffalo and the herd” and move to a new kind of organization. They discuss employees’ need for more responsibility and ways to empower them. The authors also describe how hardworking, top-down managers can get outmaneuvered in today’s marketplace.

Tim Peters writes, “These are crazy times in the world’s marketplace. They call for bold efforts on the part of business and political leads. No business leader has been more bold and few have been more successful than Ralph Stayer.”

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Counter-intuitive skills required for building relationship power

by Mike McGrann, Executive Director of the S. Dale High Center for Family Business

If you want:

• To be heard, you must first be willing to listen.

• To be trusted, you must first be willing to show that you trust.

• Others take responsibility for their part, you must first take responsibility for your part.

• A team that is willing to change, you must demonstrate that it is okay to fail.

• To improve communication in your team, you must surface conflict.

• To influence, you must first be willing to be influenced.

• To be viewed as a strong leader, you must demonstrate humility.

Mike's Bottom Line: Power has to be earned, and the route to earning it may neither be easy nor obvious. As far as relationships go, the effort, however counterintuitive, is worth your investment.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

When Words are the Problem: Communication and Relationship

by Mary Beth Matteo, Founding Director of the S. Dale High Center

Many of us judge someone’s competence by the way he or she handles a public setting: chairing a meeting, making a presentation, supervising employees, or diffusing a tense situation. Members of the successor generation are judged by these criteria—and many more. Poor communication skills can strain professional relationships.

The upcoming generation is under intense scrutiny which makes effective communication difficult, if not paralyzing in some cases. In business settings, colleagues often defer to the senior person, making it even more difficult for a successor to speak up and be heard. In many family businesses, comparisons between founder and successor are unrelenting, also not a recipe for open and free communication. There are a few things that can be done to help successors find the “right words.”


1.  Encourage the successor generation to work outside the family business, if possible: there’s nothing like being able to learn in privacy and observe different communication styles.


2.  Find a non-family coach: someone who can role play situations with the successor and help develop the appropriate “words” for specific situations.


3.  Successors should seek leadership experiences in voluntary capacities: serving on boards, heading up special projects. This is great experience for learning the right words, and communicating with authority and effectiveness. It’s also a great way to give something back.

Sum and substance: Contrary to prevailing wisdom, a failure to excel as a communicator is not always a question of intelligence or leadership: it often has to do with “having” the right words.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Entertainment Pic: Big Night

Looking for an entertaining video or DVD rental that turns a gimlet eye on family business? Dale High of The High Companies and Executive-in-Residence at the High Center recommends Big Night, a 1996 release directed by Campbell Scott and Stanley Tucci. Big Night is about a failing Italian restaurant run by two brothers, Primo and Secondo, who gamble on one special night to try to save the business.

Primo, played by Tony Shalhoub (TV's "Adrian Monk"), is a temperamental Italian chef who refuses to make routine dishes because they are a waste of his supreme talent. Secondo, played by Stanley Tucci, is the smooth-talking business man, who's trying to keep the restaurant afloat, despite the fact that few people actually eat there.

The critics called it, "Impeccably crafted, wonderfully acted" and "delectable, warm, funny, and poignant."

Big Night: "In love and life, one big night can change everything."

Friday, November 6, 2009

Family Business in Wall Street Journal--Small Business Section

Tuesday's WSJ ran an interesting feature on a family business who provides an unusual and  newsworthy service--timely, too.

Do you know what world event is coming to Vancouver, British Columbia, in 2010? One family business helps generate the necessary hoopla for this event. If you missed the article, you can read it here.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

On Relationship: The Forgotten Advisor

by Mary Beth Matteo, Founding Director of the S. Dale High Center for Family Business
Successful leadership must look at relationships from a strategic perspective. Part of this requires the Senior generation to intentionally transition strategic relationships. One of these, frequently forgotten, is the professional advisor. Here are a few tips:

• Long before you plan on “passing the baton,” design a plan for your successor to develop relationships with your advisors: your attorney, accountant, insurance broker, banker and others. Encourage successors to chair critical meetings or shadow you.

• Create projects for your successor to build a relationship with one of your advisors.

• Inform your advisors of your succession plan.

• Challenge your advisors to transfer their loyalty to your successor: make it part of their job. (In the case of a lawyer, for instance, this may involve a formal, legal agreement.)

• If your advisors plan to retire around the same time as the senior generation, and have a long-standing relationship with the family business, work with your successor on developing a plan for how use current advisors and how to select new ones if necessary. Help your successors get in the “driver’s seat.”

Sum and substance: Advisor relationships are strategic. Manage them well to insure a successful transition.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Quote of the week

“In a family firm, the strands of the family system are so tightly interwoven with those of the business system that they cannot be distinguished without seriously disrupting one or both systems.”

--Elaine Kepner, “The Family and the Firm: A Coevolutionary Perspective.” Organizational Dynamics, Summer 1983

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