When Words are the Problem: Communication and Relationship

by Mary Beth Matteo, Founding Director of the S. Dale High Center

Many of us judge someone’s competence by the way he or she handles a public setting: chairing a meeting, making a presentation, supervising employees, or diffusing a tense situation. Members of the successor generation are judged by these criteria—and many more. Poor communication skills can strain professional relationships.

The upcoming generation is under intense scrutiny which makes effective communication difficult, if not paralyzing in some cases. In business settings, colleagues often defer to the senior person, making it even more difficult for a successor to speak up and be heard. In many family businesses, comparisons between founder and successor are unrelenting, also not a recipe for open and free communication. There are a few things that can be done to help successors find the “right words.”

1.  Encourage the successor generation to work outside the family business, if possible: there’s nothing like being able to learn in privacy and observe different communication styles.

2.  Find a non-family coach: someone who can role play situations with the successor and help develop the appropriate “words” for specific situations.

3.  Successors should seek leadership experiences in voluntary capacities: serving on boards, heading up special projects. This is great experience for learning the right words, and communicating with authority and effectiveness. It’s also a great way to give something back.

Sum and substance: Contrary to prevailing wisdom, a failure to excel as a communicator is not always a question of intelligence or leadership: it often has to do with “having” the right words.